Bread & Butter

I’ve only be working for two years. In a few days I can add six months to that tally… So it’s given I don’t have a lot of experiences to draw form in order to offer an opinion that you can trust… However, I think I’ve learnt enough to share a few ideas for those who are still to start the rat race or even those who are just finishing their first lap… The following is a tiny list of things I’ve learnt so far… Most are bad but I tried to find some good in all.

1. Playground Politics – all the silly childhood things you thought that you will escape when you enter the adult world of working find their way back to you. Only… people don’t spit in your face, call you names, pull your pigtails and chase you away. They go Super Sayan 4 on you… They jeer and snicker, quote Acts and bylaws, hold meetings and systematically plot your downfall. I think I forgot one more; they suck bum. Tip: Be brave and don’t suck bum… Because no matter how much you sugar-coat it, crap is still crap.

2. Be Streets Smart –There is a lot to be said about good education. I mean why else would our parents sacrifice so much for us. But ke, some things just don’t come standard with a degree… like common sense and adaptability. Clever people will do really STUPeD things. They marry the wrong person, loose their money on horses and bring cake for tea! Tip: Embrace common sense; shun stupidity.

3. Health Hazard – Stupid people are bad for your health. You will suffer headaches, tummy aches, sore muscles, heart palpitations, dry throat, night terrors, ulcers and even incontinence because of the stupidity of some individuals in the workplace. Tip: Surround yourself with positive and intelligent people.

4. Join a Union That Functions – Trade unions are like that reprobate boyfriend that promised you the world only to dump you when you are 7 months pregnant having promised you the moon, the stars, nice pay, an AC in your office, ergonomic chairs, and a good health plan. When things are good, it’s good. When the going gets tough, the union gets going. Tip: Choose your arbitrator wisely.

5. Gossip Girl XOXO – okay, so it’s confirmed King P and L are more than just in cohorts; they are a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. Spotted: E coming in to work more than intoxicated; he’s…. drunk… and yes… N is sick today… again! S will never stop blowing that vuvuzela and Queen P just passed U and jumped straight to V! Careful Queen P there is one thing that U knows well, and that is revenge. Until then, you know you love me, XOXO... Gossip Girl. Wrong! Tip: Nobody loves a gossip monger in the work place.

6. Twinkle, twinkle little star – Truer words have never been spoken. There is always someone who wants to take credit for your ideas. Don’t be surprised when you find that your ideas are someone else’s accessories. The old adage is true: empty vessels make the most noise. Tip: Protect your IP at all costs.

Now, there is a lot I could have written here… but then you would have a hard time assimilating everything. Also, I don’t want you to think that work is all bad. I mean… You could be working for Google! Hello! But seriously, some bosses work hard at staff retention and others don’t give a hoot. Mine doesn’t. Some jobs pay well. Mine doesn’t. Some jobs are satisfying. Mine isn’t. Tip to self: find a job that makes me want to JUMP out of bed!

Working is good for you; moreover a good job is divine. It pays for bread and butter… And I loooove my bread and butter!